Understanding

We started our training classes this week. Where were these in college? I am not sure why exactly some of these fundamental behavioral theories and research were NEVER presented to a college student about to become a teacher. So many mistakes are made on a daily basis and yet, the very adults who spend the majority of their day with these kids are never introduced to the reasons why they act the way they do. Furthermore, they are never instructed on the appropriate ways to handle discipline in regards to them. It is frustrating to see both sides of it and I wish  more parents, teachers, and administrators could and be willing to understand. Last night, our trainer stressed the point, "It is not about you" over and over again. The behaviors we will encounter often have nothing to do with us. If we are willing to take "us" out of it; remove our emotions and reactions to the behaviors and things spoken, we can begin to see these kids as scared, traumatized, abused/neglected, and they simply do not know what to do with their new circumstances. Isn't this true of so many situations? We would never ask a dog owner to rescue a dog who had been abused and expect the dog to automatically be social, loving, and to be our best friend. On the contrary, we expect the dog to be withdrawn, shake, hide, etc. Yet, somehow, society/professionals/people decided that since humans can speak and communicate, we should expect more out of them. How very, very wrong we were. How very heart breaking for these kids who have had so much to deal with, now be expected to behave in a manner that is "normal". This lesson alone is enough to stop and re-evaluate how we treat one another.

I have found in the past couple of months, I cannot be angry with the parents of these children. Most of them are simply products of their environment who do not know how to break the cycle. In the VERY same way we want God's grace and forgiveness, I must extend the same sentiment to these parents who have done so much wrong. And most of all, being angry does nothing but plant seeds that take years to root out. I realized a month or so ago that I never would want to be the person to keep a child and parent separated. I want the parent to get their life in order, find Jesus, and take the steps to get their child back. There is always the desire in every child's heart to be with their mother or father, no matter how bad the situation. When they are young, if it is all they know, then how do they know it is bad? In the way some root for the underdog, so do I for these parents to make a comeback. If God's grace is sufficient for my transgressions, is it not the same for these people? Some parents will not be able to have their children back, for those, I pray God works in their life in such a manner, that they are one day given a second chance and will succeed. I know most of these people will never want to hear Jesus' name or try to better their lives, for those people, I pray I am a good steward of their child. I pray I am able to be the parent they need and deserve.