It has been months since I have posted and my the things that have gone on. I will start by saying we still have our precious kids, but we don't know for how much longer. At the end of April is their final hearing. On that day we will either say good-bye to them or start the adoption process. I never thought I would actually see this day come. As much as my heart is heavy to see them go, I know the progress their parents have made. I have seen the change in the eyes of these parents. It is moments like these I know in my deepest of heart we did what we were to do. We provided a safe haven of love, growth, laughter, security, and above all healing. I could not have done all of this without Jesus and Dustin. God has shown so much to me through these children, so much I did not understand, so much I want for them, so much I will not see. This is where faith picks up and I end. This leads the next "going on".
In November, actually November 21, I found out a piece of information that would change everything, forever. I found out I was pregnant. Those two pink lines meant more to me than anything I could ever imagine. So many prayers answered in just 2 minutes. I was in shock, amazed, humbled. I can't explain how many scriptures I prayed over this baby, how many prayers went up on behalf of him/her. I can't even tell you how many tears were shed. So many thought I couldn't, so many prayed I could. In a few minutes I knew God had given me what no man (or woman) ever could. In the midst of all the uncertainty with the three in our home, I had a baby that would be mine.
As the past few months have passed, so have the many emotions about what is going to happen have changed. I don't think not being pregnant would help with the emotional swings I feel almost daily. There are many more decisions to make, many more changes to occur, much more faith to be had. It is the crossroads I am at today. More to come as more decisions are made.
